


Do you know what it's like?

by whiffingbooks



Series: These prompts keep pulling me in [14]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiffingbooks/pseuds/whiffingbooks
Summary: Prompt – Do you know what it's like?Harry finds Ginny after she tells him off in OOTP
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: These prompts keep pulling me in [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859185
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Do you know what it's like?

Harry couldn't sleep. Ron's snores usually lulled Harry into a fitful sleep nowadays, but today, he was wide awake. He didn't need to see the clock kept near his bedside to check the time. The ominous gong of the rickety clock at the centre of the house informed him of the hour. It was past two.

He tossed and turned in his bed, struggling to untangle himself from the wrinkled bedsheet. He had been lying awake for the last three hours, the tiredness from the last few days no longer haunting him. His body thrummed with energy and he removed the quilt from his torso. Swinging his legs off the bed, he sat for some time.

"Maybe I should see if Sirius is up," he murmured, casting a glance at his snoring best mate. Harry didn't blame Ron for having a good night's sleep. Ron had spent too much time stressing about his hospitalized dad. He needed some rest.

Harry pushed off the bed and stood. Although walking around in a house imbibed with Dark Arts wasn't his usual choice, he wanted to get rid of the excitement.

Softly, he padded over to the door and opened it, trying not to wake Ron. Harry slipped out, closing it behind him.

Then, he was off.

"Should've brought a jumper," he thought. When everyone was awake, the adults shot heating charms in the hallways to wade off the sickening cold of Grimmauld Place. But they had worn off by then and he was an underage wizard.

Rather unfair if he said so.

He made no sound as he climbed down the stairs. He didn't intend to wake up the horrid portrait. Also, he didn't know what he would do if the shrivelled House Elf, Kreacher, found him wandering the halls at this hour of the night.

He turned a corner and saw the kitchen door opened, the glow of candlelight acting as a beacon in the darkness. His feet dragged him towards the light.

He expected Sirius or Remus or even Mrs Weasley in the kitchen at this hour. Ginny Weasley's appearance shocked him instead.

"Harry!" Her hand flew towards her chest. "You scared me!"

His cheeks flushed in embarrassment. 

"Oh, er, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was. ... Y'know, anyone was in the kitchen. I didn't know," he stammered.

She clutched her glass of milk, waving him off with her other hand. 

"It's okay. I was not expecting anyone."

He shuffled his feet, carefully avoiding her gaze. She was also why he couldn't sleep tonight. Her words in the quiet of the room and her cool treatment after that had bothered him more than they should have. His rising mortification and regret over not remembering her ordeal were making it hard for him to function properly.

"Well?" 

He startled. "What?"

She frowned. "You look like you're about to piss yourself. Go on." She pointed to the chair opposite hers. "Have a seat. Don't keep standing there. Do you want something?"

He was about to sit when he decided a glass of milk might soothe his nerves.

"I'd like a glass of milk," he admitted.

Before he could pour one, she stood up.

"I'll do it. You sit."

"No. Please, I can do it for -"

She rolled her eyes and shoved an empty glass in his hands. "Harry, don't be a gentleman right now. Sit and enjoy your milk and biscuits."'

"Biscuits?" He settled in his seat, cringing when the chair made some noise as he pushed it forward. Ginny brought the milk jug and a plate of biscuits. She kept them on the table and poured some milk into his glass. 

"Tonks brought some and slipped them to me earlier." She motioned for him to take one. "I hid it in my room, afraid one of those gits would steal them if they knew."

"Chocolate?" He turned over the chocolate covered biscuit in his hand. He dipped it in his milk and took a bite. Immediately, the sweetness flooded his mouth and he let out a sigh.

Ginny did the same, grinning from ear to ear as she bit into hers. "Chocolate biccies are my favourite."

"I've never had these before. What's the name?" 

She shrugged, hungrily grabbing another one and dunking it into milk. 

"Something with cad. I just know I can survive on this for ages." She bit into it and moaned, her eyes rolling back in happiness. Harry smiled and seized another one from the plate.

They ate quietly for some time, their glasses and the plate emptying. He glanced at Ginny who was busy trying to guess how long she could dip her biscuit without it breaking off. She didn't appear aloof towards him then. In fact, she looked warm and friendly.

Part of him wanted to move on from his earlier slip, but he knew it wasn't the right thing. He owed her an apology and he wasn't going to shy away from that.

"That was fun. I'd ask her to bring some more if she could. Who needs anything when they have chocolate?" She patted her stomach while grinning impishly. He felt a burst of fondness for her.

"You couldn't sleep?" He asked. He didn't ask her before, scared that she might get upset with him.

She lost some of her mirth, distressing Harry with the change. She shook her head and sat up.

"I couldn't. I was restless." Though she smiled, he could sense a wariness in her movements.

"I couldn't either," he admitted. Breathing deeply, he continued, "I kept on thinking about what you said and tried to think of ways to convince you that I am not a prat. At last, I had to admit that I behaved like one and needed to apologize."

She blinked at him, her mouth falling open.

"You're saying sorry? To me?"

Although he tried, he couldn't help but be affronted.

"You think I can't apologize?" His tone was snappish, but Ginny stared at him, undaunted.

"Seeing as you're close to biting off anyone who breathes a word to you or dares to contradicts you, I think you can figure out why I find this situation so incredulous."

His face burned with shame. Of course. Why shouldn't she be surprised? He had snapped at her without any reason. Then, he dared to forget something that nearly killed her.

His insides went cold. Ginny was nearly killed by Riddle and Harry was callous enough to whine about his vision when she had not only been possessed for far longer than he guessed himself to be but also survived. She should punch him and be done with it.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Ginny."

Her smile was tight. "It's okay. Mistakes happen." Somehow, her acceptance hurt more.

He moved his chair close to her. He needed her to understand how awful he felt for forgetting the Chamber. Her eyes widened as he came closer and he was strangely pleased to see her cheeks bloom as they did in her First Year.

"No, it was. All the time when I was thinking I was possessed by Voldemort," he ignored her flinch, "I kept on thinking one thing. One thing I wanted to ask everyone who kept on telling me that I saved your dad."

"What was it?" Her voice was a whisper. A strange atmosphere seemed to have fallen upon them. He was not in any hurry to break it.

"Do you know what it's like?" He whispered. "Do you know what it's like to hurt someone you care about while _he_ controls you? While _he_ makes you feel things you don't ever want to feel? Joy at the thought of killing? An urge to hurt others?"

She nodded, her eyes fixated at his. He had never noticed until then that she had freckles on her face. They were tiny, not as many as Ron's, but they were there. 

"I was being a miserable tosser. I was thinking all these things, thinking about running away," he ignored her gasp, "and going far away from you people."

"Harry..."

"I was so intent on my misery that I never thought to ask you. Someone who was in his clutches. I didn't forget." He would never. Sometimes, his nightmares were of Ginny lying on the floor of the Chamber as he reached her, but in his dreams, she was either already killed off or he was too late. "I just didn't-" He cut himself off.

"What?" She leaned forward. Her glowing hair framed her face.

Feeling like he was revealing too much, he answered, focusing on the scar on her knuckle, "The Ginny I found in the Chamber is not the Ginny I've been looking at for years. And I don't like to think that you were once looking that lifeless. So, I shoved it at the back of my mind. And somehow, managed to muck everything up." He faced her.

She stayed quiet for some time, her finger twirling around a stray lock. 

Finally, she said, "I thought you forgot because you didn't care. Like it wasn't that big of a deal for you."

"Oh, no! No. Not at all," he said desperately. He grabbed her hand and clutched it, surprising both of them. He continued, "I remember everything. It was the worst day of my life until now. I wish it was me instead. Believe me." He beseeched her. 

"Harry..." She tightened her grip on his hand. "Don't beat yourself up over it," she chided him, slowly untangling their hands. He felt slightly bereft, so he clasped his hands together and gazed at her. 

"I will. I was an arsehole."

She shook her head. "No. It was unfair of me to expect you will remember everything."

"But I do!"

"You know what I mean. I understand now. I really do. I'm not miffed at you anymore," she insisted.

"You're not?"

"I never told you this, but thank you for saving me-"

"Ginny," he protested however she quelled him with a look.

"As I was saying, thank you for saving me. I was upset that you forgot everything, but you've more than made up for it." She grinned. "You were mucking up a bit in the middle, but you managed to turn it around. I'm impressed."

"Thanks, Gin." She shot him a surprised look, but he ploughed on with the nickname. "You really know how to bloke feel special."

She winked at him, making him laugh. He still felt guilty over his thoughtless remark, but Ginny squeezed his arm and gave him a knowing look, a smile of understanding and forgiveness lighting up her face and loosening the tightness in his chest.

"I must be off to bed now. I'll clean this up." She got up to clean the mess. Harry beat her to it.

"You go. I'll do the cleaning." He started collecting the glass ignoring her protests. "Ginny, you cooked. I'll clean it."

"I didn't cook. I just heated some milk." She pointed out, but he didn't budge. Gently, he pushed her towards the door.

"That counts as cooking in my books." She snorted yet acquiesced. He wanted to pat himself in the back.

"Okay, if you say so. Thank you for cleaning." She hesitated before tiptoeing and kissing his cheek. Throwing a smile over her shoulder, she walked away, her flaming red hair dancing behind her.

Harry stayed rooted in his spot for some time, his cheek tingling where she had kissed him. Slowly, he shook his head and went off to wash the dishes, mindfully not touching his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [whiffingbooks](https://whiffingbooks.tumblr.com/)


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